31 August, 2013 // 20:15:15

Dear Notepad,

Getting used to siesta, at the end of the holiday. Sad Face. 4 days to go...

I wish I could live in Russia like normal people do. No! I am forced to go to England, a place where the sun never shines, where it is always cloudy and where it always rains. Average. No Freezing colds, no boiling hots. Уныло; there are a lot of reasons why I live there. Education, my Father’s job... Depression is a serious thing when you’re away from a place where you were born, raised, spent your best time doing things you love, with people that you love, especially if you are reminded each and every time you come back for a summer break.

Not that I hate England. On the contrary, I really like it. It’s just very hard to live there all the time, knowing that YOU are a stranger in society, that your mentality and way of thinking is different from everyone else. Sometimes I like it. I feel unique, but that’s only when I’m in a good mood. Also the language itself. I’m tired of seeing the latin alphabet. I love cyrillic. I mourn for it. I understand that I am a very lucky person and that I should not complain. I am so lucky to live there and go to an extremely good school. I just cannot cope with the fact that now I’m a stranger everywhere - in England I’m a Russian, in Russia I’m an Englishman. And it will always stay like this...

I should read more Russian books. I forgot the language. I speak and write better in English. But I still think in Russian. Almost. Here’s a resolution for you, Nick - read Russian classics. Fill your special dictionary of words, hidden somewhere far down in your brain with Russian. Learn Russian.

After the holiday ends, I will have another 2/3 days left in Russia. I should use them wisely. On one of these days I hope to meet up with Vica and go to a Modern Arts gallery. She said that it’s very interesting. Hope everything will be ok...

By the way, I read an article by Eric Leroy, an American who lives in Russia for over 20 years. His representation is the closest thing to what I feel when I’m away in England.

$root - whoami
depressed
Эрик Лерой

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01st September, 2013 // Questionnaire

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