20’s Plenty

A few days ago I turned twenty. Hanging around little brothers made me realise how obnoxious I grew to be through the years. In confronting my younger siblings I automatically become sarcastic, cynical, simply unkind and unfriendly; there’s no contact. I hate that. Of course, in my defence I will say that I happen to be dealing with a hyperactive 12-year-old who’s never content with what he has. Sounds familiar. That’s an aim for the year, though — to learn to talk to my brothers, to take a more active approach to the whole elder brother routine. That means, I will make an effort to go out and play with my brother. He always wanted to play with me. Well, honestly, friends are what he has for that. I’m more than a friend. He should value what I have to say... Do I have to say anything, though? I want to...

What am I doing? In a couple of days, holidays come to a stop, uni life begins again. Call it whatever you want: school, college, uni, it’s all the same. Attitude to work is the only noticeably changing variable, although I have to say I’ve always been rather diligent, especially when it came to Art and English.

I am listening to Пошлая Молли, Луна, Oxxxymiron. I also found that I like the B52’s; I learned to admire Synthwave and ’80s music; that includes such bands as Depeche Mode, and New Order. Still a D&B addict. Classical music is still something that I am very fond of and am proud to say my taste in it has progressed; I find myself listening to Classic FM, more often than not — helps me concentrate, albeit the ads are astonishingly annoying! I’m also reading On The Road by Jack Kerouac, as well as listening to audiobooks while working on a long-term illustration project for a content client. If I was to use one word to sum up myself, I would say hungry. If I was to elaborate, I’d say that I have a problem with my ambitions; that article was a punch in the face: I need to decelerate, to learn to appreciate the little moments, to appreciate people that might initially seem lackadaisical and just plain boring, and to learn to simply be happy and stop worrying about forgetting to do something important. You will always have something important to have to do, so stop stressing about it, otherwise you’re destined to be gloomy, anxious, and depressed for the rest of your life. Take a chill pill, dude.

It’s very early in the morning. I’m eagerly wiggling my legs, while finishing typing up this blog post. So meta. Peace out...

$root - whoami
ambition addict
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